Putting Your Past For Sale On Craigslist

I have a little habit that I do on my spare time for cheap entertainment. It’s not something that I’m particularly proud of, but I never had a reason to be ashamed of it, either…..at least until a few days ago. The secret vice is Craigslist Jewelry.

I like to peruse the engagement rings. I find it amazing how cheap one could get a diamond by avoiding the local jewelry store, I like to reflect on how much time, effort, and heart went into picking out that ring that was intended on forever adorning some delicate finger……and lastly, I like to read what folks write about their baubles. Just to list a few:

“Obviously it didn’t work out for me….but you could make a girl happy with this ring”

“I’m wanting to get rid of this and get a boob job”

“Will consider trading for a boat, truck, or guns”

“This ring is not cursed”

All of this, in addition to extreme adrenaline and nausea came crashing down on me a few nights ago around 3am in a bout of insomnia. I was doing my usual internet rounds and all of the sudden I felt unease, something was uncomfortably familiar…….yellow sapphires, palladium, one of a kind design, a recognizable phone number………SWEET BALLS, THIS IS MY RING!

And there it was…… my name, my ring, and my past on the chopping block. It’s kind of like seeing your own name in the obits.

So how do I feel about this mad stroke of irony? Short-changed.

As a Craigslist enthusiast, I was let down......all the ad talked about was the ring, the diamond, the cut, the clarity, the price. Where’s the spirit, where’s the angst, why would trading the ring in for a scooter not be considered????

I giggled for more than what was prudent.......laid back on my pillow, tried to force my ass cheeks to quit clinching, and summed up that my past, my triumphs, and my follie went full circle. Then I slept like a baby.